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Showing posts from 2021

Yes Vs No

About 3 years ago I went from one extreme to another. A major incident in my life caused me to look at how thin I was spreading myself and the realisation that I needed to stop saying yes to everything. So I pretty much stopped saying yes to everything . One extreme to another. Things were going fine, lots more time to focus on me, my family and getting us all back on track, mentally and physically. But…. about 2 years later I re-evaluated this again. I had a bit of a realisation that by focusing so much on just me, my family and saying no to everything others asked of me that I was potentially depriving myself of really fun and life enhancing opportunities; and opportunities for others to share the burden in some cases. It speaks to two different things for me I think. One is the whole not wanting to be a burden to others, where I am slowly but surely realising I’m not a burden. People don’t offer help if they don’t want to. They’re just doing what I would do for them because we care

Grounding time

I'll be honest I've been struggling a bit these last 2 or 3 months. As much as things all seem pretty good on paper I haven't been able to feel quite.... "right". I've spent a lovely time this summer with my son, with my family, old friends coming to visit, taking trips out to the beach, camping, time off work, but something seems off kilter.  I haven't been able to put my finger on it and it's had me feeling restless, uneasy and unsettled.  Anyone else get like this? I actually quite like this time of year, the end of summer. As I get into September I do get quite reflective. I ponder how things have been going, what have I been doing, what do I have to look forward to, what do I need to focus on? I grabbed my journal and started writing tonight. I just let the pen drift and the thoughts tumble out, joining the dots and putting the pieces together. It was just what I needed  Next came the bullet journal. I felt the urge to draw something that is impor

Reality check

My last post here was Mothering Sunday in March this year. Almost 4 months ago, and before that it had become very sporadic. I think it may well have been even longer since I put pen to paper and wrote in my journal for my own wellbeing tracker. I've fallen out of all my good habits and boy can I tell! I got weighed today.... I knew it wouldn't be good, but I've done it. 86.7 kgs at only 152 cms tall - that is not good. I've taken some other measurements too: neck - 37cms waist - 105cms hips - 125cms thighs - 66cms It stops now, those numbers.... I don't want to see them again. I can't afford to see them again. I feel sluggish, bloated, tired and lacking energy generally. I don't really know how I got here. I could blame lots of things, life has been busy, I have a child, I have a full time job, I've moved house.  But the truth is, I could find 20 minutes every day to exercise. I have time to cook a fresh meal every day, and the days I don't, I have

Mothering Sunday (the reality)

Here in the UK, yesterday was Mother's Day. Despite being in a lockdown and the usual meals out and walks to meet people being cancelled, you couldn't fail to notice. People were posting all over social media wishing their mums the best day, expressing caring sentiments for those who have lost their mums or their children. Sharing photos of their "Super Mums" and in some cases the amazing gifts they received. Even as a single mum, I have a good enough relationship with my ex that he took our son out and supported him in choosing some gifts for me. In the most caring of ways, Little Legs woke me at before 6am and proceeded to pester me until I agreed to get up. My biggest laugh of the day was when he gave me the present he was most proud of, the one he was sure said, "Super Mum"..... I don't have the heart to tell him the truth! 💙 Before the day could really kick off we did a reproduction of a Mother's Day video from a few years ago. His silliness is