Skip to main content

Reality check

My last post here was Mothering Sunday in March this year. Almost 4 months ago, and before that it had become very sporadic. I think it may well have been even longer since I put pen to paper and wrote in my journal for my own wellbeing tracker.

I've fallen out of all my good habits and boy can I tell! I got weighed today.... I knew it wouldn't be good, but I've done it.

86.7 kgs at only 152 cms tall - that is not good.

I've taken some other measurements too:

neck - 37cms

waist - 105cms

hips - 125cms

thighs - 66cms

It stops now, those numbers.... I don't want to see them again. I can't afford to see them again. I feel sluggish, bloated, tired and lacking energy generally.

I don't really know how I got here. I could blame lots of things, life has been busy, I have a child, I have a full time job, I've moved house. 

But the truth is, I could find 20 minutes every day to exercise. I have time to cook a fresh meal every day, and the days I don't, I have leftovers of healthy home cooked food in the freezer I can have.

So why?  I took my eye off the ball, I have felt rejected and worthless over the last few months to be honest and sadly I've let how others treat me affect how I treat myself. At the same time I stopped making time for the things I do which make me feel good about myself. The daily routine of writing my thoughts, my gratitudes, the positives has stopped at the same time. As such I no longer had my sense check to reflect on what was actually happening to help myself challenge my thinking or how others were making me feel.

Today my plans I was really looking forward to, fell apart. It was just one of those things. Lately, days like that have sent me into a spiral of eating crap, staying up too late and making myself feel thoroughly miserable.

Instead I took positive action, I decided to stick to my original plan, albeit by myself. I went to my new favourite coastal place and had a long swim, a read on the beach, and just generally relaxed.





After I got Little Legs home tonight I spent some time, just relaxing, eating some home cooked food, playing games with my son. Just being present and trying to switch off from any anxiety and worry.

While he was in the bath I dug out my exercise gear and got myself sorted for a long overdue training session. Standing in front of that TV with the video ready to go, I admit a moment of "urgh". But as soon as it started, I felt good. Man it was so hard, but I felt alive and happy. I forget how good exercise makes me feel.

I'm trying Chloe Ting's workouts on You Tube as recommended by some friends of mine. So far so good. The one I did tonight was an all body workout - I think I'm going to need to invest in some weights for home.

https://www.youtube.com/ChloeTingFullBodyWorkout

This rounded, bloated face is gonna be a thing of the past. Take a good look at it, cos it won't be here much longer.



Labels:
Location: Durham, UK

Comments

Post a Comment

I love comments, please do leave feedback and a username for your preferred social media so I can get back in touch.

Popular posts from this blog

To know or not to know?

14 weeks and 2 days In a month or so I will be having my 20 week scan and can potentially find out the gender of our baby. D is adamant he wants to know.  Nay!  He needs to know.... Me?  Meh... All my life I've said I didn't want to know, that whatever I had I would be happy and as such I just don't need to know.  In fact, waiting 9 months to find out what we're having just adds to the excitement of finding out. D however is very impatient in all aspects of life and needs to know at the first possible opportunity.   I can't see why it's so important to know as I don't believe in traditional gender attire and decor.  Girls do not have to wear pink.  So whats the benefit to knowing really? Someone recently suggested to me that we could just go down the beige route... *shudder* I couldn't think of anything worse.  I need colour in my life, and our baby will be surrounded by colour.     For me, I want bright colours around our child, greens, blu
Post a Comment
Read more

Keeping your chebs in place

When I found out I was expecting I knew that there would be a stage which meant I would struggle to find clothes to wear. .. never did I imagine my first issue would be my underwear! ! At only 11 weeks I was measured and found that I'd gone from more than a handful 36DD to a rather explosive 38GG! To my utmost horror the bra fitter of a well known high street chain told me I had to stop wearing my underwires and brought me two maternity bras to try on. If this wasn't bad enough the bras were horrid.  I asked if they had any others and the answer was "Yes" but not in my rather large size.   As I was rather desperate I bought them but now I'm fed up and want something pretty but practical.  This is proving much harder than I realised without breaking the bank! So I've been doing a little research.  My boobs are only going to grow more, and now I'm finding I need to wear something at night too.  So I need comfy bras during the day, something to sle
Post a Comment
Read more

How easy to forget the past

I had an appointment yesterday and I thought everything was going swimmingly well.  Answering all the questions with no hesitation and providing relevant information.  It was only while we were chit chatting that I realised there was so much I'd forgotten to say. Cue much back peddling and scribbling in extra notes. How is it when these things happen at the time they seem huge,  like the biggest obstacles you've ever dealt with but within a relatively short space of time they're pushed back? Huge lesson learned.  If it's not going to matter in a year or two,  just get on with it, accept it.  If you can't change it just do it and move on .  Also, make a record of these things otherwise in future appointments you'll have forgotten everything!
Post a Comment
Read more