tattycrafts

 Today is a big day, but it's not my biggest day yet to come. It is nonetheless an important day. Today is the day that the house I have lived in for 20 years, goes on the market. I've probably wanted to move for 15 of those years, but due to life, circumstances and shit happening it never happened. The house looks clean, fresh and spacious. Bright and airy. I am knackered! I'm sitting here starving but can't make much needed breakfast for fear of making a mess. The estate agent is due in 10 minutes and I just need to make it until after they have left and I make a feast. I do however need to build the new habits of cleaning up immediately after myself so that there isn't much to do whenever I have a viewing. What will the future hold for me and my boy? So exciting!

One thing this whole pandemic has taught me is it's important to enjoy the little things. To make sure that every day I do something that makes me smile, that makes me laugh. For me, music is the thing that makes me smile, even more so dancing to music.... I've had a hard couple of days due to poor sleep, and when I clocked off work today I knew what I needed to do to get that mental lift I needed. If you haven't laughed yet today then this little video may at least bring a smile to your face. What are you doing everyday that makes you smile? Enjoy!

I've officially been a single parent now for over a year. As I've reflected back on this year I feel in a much better place, much stronger physically, mentally and emotionally. I'm not one of those people who feel like they NEED to be in a relationship. Not any more at least! I have more than enough to fill my days with a child, a full time job, the house, a dog and my hobbies. But... those things don't give you affection, cuddles on the sofa and intimacy. It's been a VERY long time that I've been without those things and I really do miss those. So what's a single mum like me to do? Not a lot to be honest, especially with the impact of covid and how far ahead you need to plan meals out or drinks with friends. I grab whatever childfree time I can get but I don't have a partner to share that time with; and I can't just quickly set up a date with someone, so life is pretty lonely in that respect.  I have some amazing friends and I know I'm always we

When Boris announced that single people / single parents could form a bubble, my heart kind of broke a little. My parents are shielding, the majority of family and dear friends are not very local; and I just assumed that the few friends I have locally would form bubbles with their own families. I didn't even ask. I didn't talk about it, I didn't even want to think about it . I sat at home, feeling very alone, very sad and more and more angry as days went by. I cherished any contact with friends and family I could get, but at the end of the working week all I really want to do is throw open my doors to my friends and family. Sit on the sofa, talk shit, and have a cuddle. As this week came to a close my son went to stay with his dad and I was home alone. My usual beach walk didn't call to me, and I struggled. Then a dear friend sent me a message and simply asked if I'd formed a bubble. With who I wondered. Form a bubble with us she replied. I'm not going to lie, I

I've been really down this week. I'm not going to hide it. It happens to all of us and as parents we kinda owe it to our children to be honest about that. Show them that it's OK to not be OK, but that we learn self-care and the importance of that. This week for me has been a mix of re-visiting grief, parenting battles and raging hormones. What a combo eh? It wasn't until I took some time for myself yesterday that I realised why things were so bad this week. But now I know, I can deal. Yesterday morning I burst into tears over something that I'd be fine with normally. I calmed myself down, got the school run done and came home and let it all out. Reflecting back on the week and the things that had been on my mind there's no wonder it hit me.  I made the decision to finish work early and just give myself some time and some much needed rest. The sun rose this morning, as it does every day. It's a new day, a new chance, a new opportunity. I've already found

This lockdown's got everyone crazy There's no common sense We're not to spend time with our family Can't see the people we trust the most But don't worry you can get the trades in Get those pipes sorted Fix that boiler,  sorts those doors And don't forget those wobbly floors I don't know you from Adam I don't know where you've been But come into my house I'm sure you're clean. I miss seeing my family Holding them close Having a cup of tea And being a host. This lockdown's got everyone crazy Breaking the rules. But the rules make no sense. So what have we to lose? The NHS is there for us The keyworkers keep things smooth The vulnerable are shielding And we're on the loose. Everyone's going crazy People breaking the rules. The rules make no sense so what are we to do? Stay home and go mad? Go out and breathe. Take in that fresh air Just stay aware Stay safe, stay alert It's all we've heard But for much longer? Is the cry so

One of the biggest changes I've made this year has been the introduction of my Bullet Journal... Or as the cool cats say, Bujo, best not to shorten it to BJ.... How to describe what a Bujo is? It's different for everyone, but it's essentially a blank book which you fill with logs, lists, plans etc... Whatever you need to track and monitor. It can be done as standard bullet points, or in a more creative way. I wanted to do mine to enable me to work on keeping myself healthy mentally and physically. For it to be a mix of things I really needed to do, and fun things for my own personal enjoyment. As a parent, and more so now as a single parent, I've found it incredibly hard to focus on myself and my own needs. My Bujo has enabled me to work out just how I'm feeling, what I can work on, what I can achieve. It's given me a sense of control, and really helped me focus on moving my life forward and making the most of what I have, rather than the things I don'

It 3.15am and I am up for the 3rd time tonight having put Little Legs back to bed AGAIN. He's never been a good sleeper, but if I'm ever going to have a proper social life again, he needs to start staying in his own bed through the night and actually getting some sleep. He clearly thinks sleep is overrated, either that or just loves cuddles too much! 🤷 He slept out at his dad's on Monday night which was really successful,b co-slept. Hopefully next time he sleeps there they can follow the routine of just returning him to bed each time he wakes until he realises he's not going to be able to just jump in. I can hardly imagine him actually sleeping through. It's been nearly six years and now even when he's not here my sleep is awful. If we can crack this it will benefit him for his energy levels and his anxiety being apart from his parents. It'll benefit his dad for when he sleeps there, benefit me because I'll be able to have a proper social life

Me: "You fancy staying out at Nanny's tonight?" Him: "Yeah!" Y-e-s-s!!! Adult time here I come..... Hours later...... Text: He wants to come home. Ah crap. Quick phone call.... Child starts crying.... He misses me...oh.... I'm not near home, try to persuade him to be brave, stay with Nanny, I'll see him early in the morning...... Nope. Back home... He's asleep upon arrival.... He wakes....he's cross with me! How dare I go out without him? This child is going to have to get used to Mummy going out.... She's had a taste being "Tatty" again and not "Mummy".... And she'll be doing it again really soon! I love you with all my heart son, but I have to love myself too.

2015- 2016 - otherwise known as the year things got hard. Grandad died. Tom lost his fight with cancer. Cancer took my dad from me . All within the space of 12 months. When so much is taken from you in such a short space of time, it's incredibly hard. I was very close with Grandad and still miss him terribly. With Tom and my Dad... Hell... It doesn't matter that you know it's coming, it still tears a hole in your heart. Being a parent to a young child who couldn't possibly understand grief and the loss of loved ones, I never really fell apart. I don't know if it's strange, 4/5 years down the line, I found myself reflecting on them and really feeling that sense of loss. More so than ever. I think I felt like I wasn't allowed to grieve, to fall apart, and didn't really deal with things. Fast forward to 2019 , an equally hard year for very different reasons. Again no option to fall apart, but this time I've dealt with things in a much

As Little Legs approaches his 6th birthday I'm starting to realise how much he is changing, and the nature of the world he is becoming part of. He's got very firm ideas about what he wants - he wants long hair and doesn't like it straight. (He just wants to be like his friend at school) He's got very firm beliefs - It's not OK to interrupt the teacher when she's talking, but it's OK to interrupt Mummy because she's just annoying! He knows who he wants to see, where to go, how to drive a racecar, when you need to use a diamond pick axe... You name it, YouTube has it. At 6 his world is so different to when I was 6. There's so much more information and knowledge there that wasn't available in my childhood. He's a child of a technologically advanced age and I love it. But I'm also scared for him. Behind the scenes, people become brave, daring and careless with their words and their actions. It's too easy to lose inhibitions and

I had a friend come over Saturday night. I don't think I've had a friend come over Saturday night in years. It was the start of a change in me. For many people having friends over is commonplace, it's "normal"... Whatever normal is. It's hasn't been my "normal" for many years. I could stop and analyse why, and I could come up with a whole host of reasons. But what's the benefit in that? The past happened. The future hasn't happened yet, and I'm in charge of that. My life is what it is, my future is what I make it. I truly believe that if you want something enough you can make it happen. I've been feeling pretty motivated lately to take charge. I accept there are some things which are out of my control but it just means I have to find ways around them or re-evaluate what's important to me. I have my goals. I have people in my life that matter. I have a future.

I last blogged in September 2018. I honestly hadn't realised it had been so long since I last wrote in here. One thing that has become clear is that sometimes the life you plan and hope for is not the one you're going to get. Or at least it might not happen the way you think it's going to happen or when you think it will. A lot of people are doing the ten year reflection, but for me, to simply reflect back to where I was when I last posted to today is enough. My life is almost unrecognisable in some ways and in others not different at all. I'm still a parent but the way I'm parenting is very different. There's still two parents but we are both dealing with our own battles, travelling our own paths while trying hard to keep our child at the heart of what we do. Parenting a child when you're separated is a totally different ball game. I'm still trying to work out how to do this, how much to communicate and share, how much is too much, when is it to