A martyr for the cause

I'm doing a lot of moaning at the moment and really making D suffer a bit in the process. I don't mean to but it's a natural by product of having the cold from hell and not being able to take anything for it.

I "can" take some paracetamol but not too much, but my brain is telling me I really shouldn't. If there's any chance taking paracetamol could cause a problem I'd rather soldier on without. Obviously I'm shooting myself in the foot here, but I keep telling myself it's not forever and it's for the best. I still feel like crap though and repeatedly tell D who obligingly encourages me to rest. Probably so he can play more Call of Duty in peace with his boys though!

But....The worst thing has to be this cough from the deep dark recesses of hell accompanied by the razor blades which have been fixed in my throat.... For those, I haven't yet found a safe relief. Doc is checking it over this morning to make sure it's not an infection and I shall ask what my options are but I'm pretty sure I'll be told gargle with salt water. ..... *shudder* but whatever is best not for me but the little one right?

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Grabbing Opportunities

I absolutely love it when your plans are changed in the blink of an eye into something you wouldn't ordinarily do but which turn out to be even better. Today's plan was to drop D off at work, go buy a raincoat for O and head home. Very simple and not very exciting, but a plan that I actually felt a bit stressed out about. As I wandered around that large well known chain for baby and children clothes and supplies I heard a voice talking to me (not in my head, I hasten to add), and without even thinking turned around and said, "OK". It's one of those vague responses I tend to do when I'm not concentrating or haven't heard properly and I'm too embarrassed to explain I'm deaf and didn't hear. What had I just committed to? Apparently the photographer had a cancellation and I'd agreed to fill it. PANIC!!! I immediately questioned how much it would cost, and was pleased to hear it was free. Where's the catch I thought, and asked...

Reality check

My last post here was Mothering Sunday in March this year. Almost 4 months ago, and before that it had become very sporadic. I think it may well have been even longer since I put pen to paper and wrote in my journal for my own wellbeing tracker. I've fallen out of all my good habits and boy can I tell! I got weighed today.... I knew it wouldn't be good, but I've done it. 86.7 kgs at only 152 cms tall - that is not good. I've taken some other measurements too: neck - 37cms waist - 105cms hips - 125cms thighs - 66cms It stops now, those numbers.... I don't want to see them again. I can't afford to see them again. I feel sluggish, bloated, tired and lacking energy generally. I don't really know how I got here. I could blame lots of things, life has been busy, I have a child, I have a full time job, I've moved house. But the truth is, I could find 20 minutes every day to exercise. I have time to cook a fresh meal every day, and the days I don't, I have ...

Yes Vs No

About 3 years ago I went from one extreme to another. A major incident in my life caused me to look at how thin I was spreading myself and the realisation that I needed to stop saying yes to everything. So I pretty much stopped saying yes to everything . One extreme to another. Things were going fine, lots more time to focus on me, my family and getting us all back on track, mentally and physically. But…. about 2 years later I re-evaluated this again. I had a bit of a realisation that by focusing so much on just me, my family and saying no to everything others asked of me that I was potentially depriving myself of really fun and life enhancing opportunities; and opportunities for others to share the burden in some cases. It speaks to two different things for me I think. One is the whole not wanting to be a burden to others, where I am slowly but surely realising I’m not a burden. People don’t offer help if they don’t want to. They’re just doing what I would do for them because we care ...

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