Skip to main content

Reality check

My last post here was Mothering Sunday in March this year. Almost 4 months ago, and before that it had become very sporadic. I think it may well have been even longer since I put pen to paper and wrote in my journal for my own wellbeing tracker.

I've fallen out of all my good habits and boy can I tell! I got weighed today.... I knew it wouldn't be good, but I've done it.

86.7 kgs at only 152 cms tall - that is not good.

I've taken some other measurements too:

neck - 37cms

waist - 105cms

hips - 125cms

thighs - 66cms

It stops now, those numbers.... I don't want to see them again. I can't afford to see them again. I feel sluggish, bloated, tired and lacking energy generally.

I don't really know how I got here. I could blame lots of things, life has been busy, I have a child, I have a full time job, I've moved house. 

But the truth is, I could find 20 minutes every day to exercise. I have time to cook a fresh meal every day, and the days I don't, I have leftovers of healthy home cooked food in the freezer I can have.

So why?  I took my eye off the ball, I have felt rejected and worthless over the last few months to be honest and sadly I've let how others treat me affect how I treat myself. At the same time I stopped making time for the things I do which make me feel good about myself. The daily routine of writing my thoughts, my gratitudes, the positives has stopped at the same time. As such I no longer had my sense check to reflect on what was actually happening to help myself challenge my thinking or how others were making me feel.

Today my plans I was really looking forward to, fell apart. It was just one of those things. Lately, days like that have sent me into a spiral of eating crap, staying up too late and making myself feel thoroughly miserable.

Instead I took positive action, I decided to stick to my original plan, albeit by myself. I went to my new favourite coastal place and had a long swim, a read on the beach, and just generally relaxed.





After I got Little Legs home tonight I spent some time, just relaxing, eating some home cooked food, playing games with my son. Just being present and trying to switch off from any anxiety and worry.

While he was in the bath I dug out my exercise gear and got myself sorted for a long overdue training session. Standing in front of that TV with the video ready to go, I admit a moment of "urgh". But as soon as it started, I felt good. Man it was so hard, but I felt alive and happy. I forget how good exercise makes me feel.

I'm trying Chloe Ting's workouts on You Tube as recommended by some friends of mine. So far so good. The one I did tonight was an all body workout - I think I'm going to need to invest in some weights for home.

https://www.youtube.com/ChloeTingFullBodyWorkout

This rounded, bloated face is gonna be a thing of the past. Take a good look at it, cos it won't be here much longer.



Labels:
Location: Durham, UK

Comments

Post a Comment

I love comments, please do leave feedback and a username for your preferred social media so I can get back in touch.

Popular posts from this blog

Pretty breastfeeding underwear

A while back,when boobs first started their pregnancy bloom, I struggled with finding nursing bras in those larger sizes, and that were also pretty, and affordable.  Following Oscar's arrival, the post baby bloom arrived and the search was on once more. My friend Annie who shares similar traits to me sent me a link one day which brought a ray of hope.  She suggested I look at an online shop, very appropriately called nursing-brashop .   At first glance I was immediately impressed by the set up and the very clear indications that it catered to sizes across the board, including those elusive larger sizes. As well as browsing by size you can also browse by brand, and by type. I was impressed with the variety of types of bras available.  Far better than I'd been able to search for elsewhere. I quickly placed an order for two bras, one plain and simple, and one pretty one as a treat for myself.  The shop made me even happier when I discovered free UK deliv...
Post a Comment
Read more

Getting real

I'm one of those people who generally believe that if you want to do something then you should just get on and do it. And I knew that at some point in my pregnancy obviously some things I'd just have to accept I couldn't do. Up until nearly a fortnight ago I was still climbing ladders to paint walls and generally doing everything as normal.  It's finally hit me that I need to slow down and think more about taking it easy.  This is not easy to do.  I find it very hard to relax and do nothing.  I can sit on the sofa and to all intents and purposes look relaxed but my mind is in constant overdrive listing all the things I could and should be doing.  Today is no exception.  Despite some kind of stomach upset which has had me being sick and managing pain all I can think about is getting organised and finishing off jobs that are outstanding.  Somebody please teach me how to switch off.
Post a Comment
Read more

Tough times

As I stop and think on how tough this week has been, I also realise just how lucky I am. This week I've barely left the house, I've physically spoken to very few people. There are a number of reasons for this, but the most stressful part has been a very grumpy, whingey, unsettled, hard to please 9 month old. I can honestly count on one hand how many days I have felt I wanted a do over since he came into our world.  But this week I have wanted bedtime to arrive within an hour of waking up every single day. Every single day. It's definitely been a shit week, with tiny moments of joy brought about from the wonderful humorous messages received from friends and the rare toothy grins and kisses from the wrigglebum. But, despite the shittiness (yes that is a real word), I'm incredibly lucky. He's 9 and a half months old and it's taken this long to have a week like this.  I don't know why he's been like this, and I never will, but it's wonderful to ...
Post a Comment
Read more