tattycrafts

It 3.15am and I am up for the 3rd time tonight having put Little Legs back to bed AGAIN. He's never been a good sleeper, but if I'm ever going to have a proper social life again, he needs to start staying in his own bed through the night and actually getting some sleep. He clearly thinks sleep is overrated, either that or just loves cuddles too much! 🤷 He slept out at his dad's on Monday night which was really successful,b co-slept. Hopefully next time he sleeps there they can follow the routine of just returning him to bed each time he wakes until he realises he's not going to be able to just jump in. I can hardly imagine him actually sleeping through. It's been nearly six years and now even when he's not here my sleep is awful. If we can crack this it will benefit him for his energy levels and his anxiety being apart from his parents. It'll benefit his dad for when he sleeps there, benefit me because I'll be able to have a proper social life...

Me: "You fancy staying out at Nanny's tonight?" Him: "Yeah!" Y-e-s-s!!! Adult time here I come..... Hours later...... Text: He wants to come home. Ah crap. Quick phone call.... Child starts crying.... He misses me...oh.... I'm not near home, try to persuade him to be brave, stay with Nanny, I'll see him early in the morning...... Nope. Back home... He's asleep upon arrival.... He wakes....he's cross with me! How dare I go out without him? This child is going to have to get used to Mummy going out.... She's had a taste being "Tatty" again and not "Mummy".... And she'll be doing it again really soon! I love you with all my heart son, but I have to love myself too.

2015- 2016 - otherwise known as the year things got hard. Grandad died. Tom lost his fight with cancer. Cancer took my dad from me . All within the space of 12 months. When so much is taken from you in such a short space of time, it's incredibly hard. I was very close with Grandad and still miss him terribly. With Tom and my Dad... Hell... It doesn't matter that you know it's coming, it still tears a hole in your heart. Being a parent to a young child who couldn't possibly understand grief and the loss of loved ones, I never really fell apart. I don't know if it's strange, 4/5 years down the line, I found myself reflecting on them and really feeling that sense of loss. More so than ever. I think I felt like I wasn't allowed to grieve, to fall apart, and didn't really deal with things. Fast forward to 2019 , an equally hard year for very different reasons. Again no option to fall apart, but this time I've dealt with things in a much ...

As Little Legs approaches his 6th birthday I'm starting to realise how much he is changing, and the nature of the world he is becoming part of. He's got very firm ideas about what he wants - he wants long hair and doesn't like it straight. (He just wants to be like his friend at school) He's got very firm beliefs - It's not OK to interrupt the teacher when she's talking, but it's OK to interrupt Mummy because she's just annoying! He knows who he wants to see, where to go, how to drive a racecar, when you need to use a diamond pick axe... You name it, YouTube has it. At 6 his world is so different to when I was 6. There's so much more information and knowledge there that wasn't available in my childhood. He's a child of a technologically advanced age and I love it. But I'm also scared for him. Behind the scenes, people become brave, daring and careless with their words and their actions. It's too easy to lose inhibitions and ...