Skip to main content

The reality of a working mum

When I returned to work I was frequently asked how I was coping with someone else looking after Oscar.  I found this a little strange to be honest.  Before I returned to work we had researched our local childcare options,  visited establishments,  talked to staff,  looked at Ofsted reports and asked all the questions we could think of that mattered. We chose a nursery that felt like a home,  like a family and that I considered to be safe,  supportive and best for developing Oscar in the way that I would do if I had that luxury.

So the answer to the question is that I have no worries about his care.  Am I happy with someone else looking after him?  Well that's a completely different question.

I wish that I could afford to spend more time with him. I've already reduced my hours and condensed them across 4 days in order that I get a whole day in the middle of the week with him.  It's not enough though.  I want to be spending time with him when he's not tired,  when he doesn't just want me for my boobs ha ha! I want to be able to catch those milestones.  It doesn't seem fair to me that I grew him for 9 months,  nurtured him, gave birth to him,  kept him alive and developed him this far into the cheeky character that he is,  for someone else to then see him take his first steps,  say his first words and give other people who are paid to care for him those hugs and kisses when he wakes from his nap.

I do feel resentful, but what alternative is there?  It's not reasonable to expect an employer to fund my desire to be a mum, and I can't expect the Government or the tax payer to pay for my choice to have a family. But I do think employers could do more to allow parents to find that balance between family and work.

I know I'm lucky in that my employer has a decent maternity package, allowed me to change my working pattern and has flexible working hours. But that's a rarity. I count my blessings I'm able to leave work early when I need to, that I can get a tax break in my childcare, but,  if I'm honest,  I'm pinning my hopes on a big lottery win :-D

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Pretty breastfeeding underwear

A while back,when boobs first started their pregnancy bloom, I struggled with finding nursing bras in those larger sizes, and that were also pretty, and affordable.  Following Oscar's arrival, the post baby bloom arrived and the search was on once more. My friend Annie who shares similar traits to me sent me a link one day which brought a ray of hope.  She suggested I look at an online shop, very appropriately called nursing-brashop .   At first glance I was immediately impressed by the set up and the very clear indications that it catered to sizes across the board, including those elusive larger sizes. As well as browsing by size you can also browse by brand, and by type. I was impressed with the variety of types of bras available.  Far better than I'd been able to search for elsewhere. I quickly placed an order for two bras, one plain and simple, and one pretty one as a treat for myself.  The shop made me even happier when I discovered free UK deliv...

Panic!

I woke up on Monday morning with an honest to God freak out. In three weeks I return to work after nearly 11 months off work. Jeez Louise where has that time gone? I remember before I went on maternity leave I had ideas about what I would do during my time off and how when I returned to work I would be in such a great routine that everything would run seamlessly. Er.. No. Quite the opposite, I have a baby who hates naps, unless he sleeps on you and doesn't particularly like sleeping at night. I somehow manage to fit in (just about) mealtimes, and attending appts and play sessions. Housework? Don't be ridiculous,  my son is incredibly lucky, and I'm incredibly surprised that he has clean clothes to wear every day. There have been occasions where I realised I was dressing him in his last set of clean clothes and the panic washing and drying without a tumble dryer has begun. When I return to work in 2 and a half weeks I'm either going to fall apart or become super ef...

Fun resolve

I began this journal when I first found out I was pregnant. I had no way of knowing what kind of road was ahead of me.  I could never have known just how hard it would be and how equally delightful it is. Being a parent has challenged every preconception I ever had about parenting. All the "rules and "ideals" were quickly thrown out of the window and many short sharp lessons were learned. Every day is a lesson.  A lesson in my son, a lesson in family dynamics, a lesson in responsibility, and a lesson in life. I cant predict what each day will bring and I can't promise I will enjoy all my lessons. But I do know each lesson is full of unquestionable love, even through dark days and the occasional tear of my own. As 2018 gets ready for autumn I find myself thinking about the challenges yet to come. The future is full of promise. I promise to continue being the best parent that I can. I know I won't be perfect but I will always do what I think is right and I...