A martyr for the cause

I'm doing a lot of moaning at the moment and really making D suffer a bit in the process. I don't mean to but it's a natural by product of having the cold from hell and not being able to take anything for it.

I "can" take some paracetamol but not too much, but my brain is telling me I really shouldn't. If there's any chance taking paracetamol could cause a problem I'd rather soldier on without. Obviously I'm shooting myself in the foot here, but I keep telling myself it's not forever and it's for the best. I still feel like crap though and repeatedly tell D who obligingly encourages me to rest. Probably so he can play more Call of Duty in peace with his boys though!

But....The worst thing has to be this cough from the deep dark recesses of hell accompanied by the razor blades which have been fixed in my throat.... For those, I haven't yet found a safe relief. Doc is checking it over this morning to make sure it's not an infection and I shall ask what my options are but I'm pretty sure I'll be told gargle with salt water. ..... *shudder* but whatever is best not for me but the little one right?

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At the halfway point

Today was all about the 20 week anomaly scan. To say I've been looking forward to this is an understatement. Since I had my dating scan at 13 weeks, all I've wanted to do is see our baby again. Unsurprisingly a baby of mine and D's is an awkward bugger and we had to do the scan in two stages because baby did NOT want to stay still, making it difficult to get a proper look at it's heart. Baby is now fondly known as wrigglebum. Wrigglebum appears to be doing fine, nothing obviously wrong, and growing at normal levels. I couldn't ask for anything more! Can't believe that the next time I see wrigglebum may well be in my arms!

I can see a rainbow

I've been doing a lot of pondering lately about how little say we have about a lot of things in our lives. We can't control the health and happiness of others. We can't control their actions. But we can control how we choose to live our lives and what positive influences we can make. In trying to find something which expresses how I feel about life right now I stumbled across this. Life’s like a movie, write your own ending Keep believing, keep pretending We’ve done just what we set out to do. Thanks to the lovers, the dreamers, and you. “The Magic Store”/Rainbow Connection” (Reprise) – Kermit and the Muppets The Muppets are making their little movie, all planned out, but then in typical muppet fashion chaos strikes. Despite everything a rainbow appears. While life has a habit of creating unwanted chaos, throwing a spanner or two in the works; sometimes we need that to re-focus on what our priorities are. 2017 brings a new chapter for my little family. ...

12 months

2015- 2016 - otherwise known as the year things got hard. Grandad died. Tom lost his fight with cancer. Cancer took my dad from me . All within the space of 12 months. When so much is taken from you in such a short space of time, it's incredibly hard. I was very close with Grandad and still miss him terribly. With Tom and my Dad... Hell... It doesn't matter that you know it's coming, it still tears a hole in your heart. Being a parent to a young child who couldn't possibly understand grief and the loss of loved ones, I never really fell apart. I don't know if it's strange, 4/5 years down the line, I found myself reflecting on them and really feeling that sense of loss. More so than ever. I think I felt like I wasn't allowed to grieve, to fall apart, and didn't really deal with things. Fast forward to 2019 , an equally hard year for very different reasons. Again no option to fall apart, but this time I've dealt with things in a much ...

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